How To Awaken a Comfortably Numb Marriage


As my son Billy was growing up, he had a couple of habits which earned him the nicknames “Dollar Billy’ and “Mr. What If”. If there was a dollar to be found, this boy would find it. There was no dollar that could escape Billy’s radar no matter how hard it tried. It could be on the ground, under a rock, in a tin can… if it was anywhere in a 100 yard radius, he would find it, period amen. Thus, he will forever be known as “Dollar Billy”.

“Mr. What If” is another story. There wasn’t a day that went by without Billy coming up to me with a “what if” idea on how to make something easier, better, or more enjoyable. I would tell him his idea was great but it was only the first step in a two-step process, with the second step being: you have to make it happen to reap its benefits.

How many times have you given up on that simple, yet wonderful, idea which would make life so much easier only to find out later someone else not only had the same idea, but took it to the next level… step two? And by doing so, he enjoys all the credit and accolades for his effort, while you are left agonizing over the question… what if?

I see couples every day who are comfortably numb in their marriages. Statistics state 50% of all marriages end in divorce, and I know for a fact, out of the remaining 50%, half of them are unhappy with theirs. Hell, I don’t know anyone who wants to have an unhappy or boring marriage, or wouldn’t like to have some excitement and maybe some unpredictable romance as well. But I do know of many who are too proud to take the first step. As I ponder this, I can’t help but hear Billy’s refrain ringing in my ears… what if? What if I cultivated our relationship with the same fervor I did pursuing it? What if I fine turned our romance just a little? What if I took the first step? Maybe a few “what if I” ideas might just be what the doctor ordered.

Remember, the best ones are the most simple. It’s the little things that make the difference. They’re the ones we overlook that are right in front of our eyes. Yes, they’re the ones we’ve thought of many times, although this time go ahead and apply step two and make it happen as you begin to enjoy one of life’s undeniable truths… You get what you give.

What if?

• You give her a rose for no particular reason.

• You smile at him saying how much you appreciate him.

• You treat her as if you had competition.

• You call him at work just to tell him how much you love him.

• You kiss her goodbye when you leave for work.

• You start working out to stay in shape.

• You tell her why you love her.

• You were romantic for no particular reason.

• You send a text telling her how much you love her

• You plan a date night once a month or so.

• You compliment her in front of her friends.

• You listen when she has something to say.

Yes, “what if” is a very interesting and thought rovoking question which begs the answer… why not?

Tell me one of your “what ifs”

Bill Peak

Source by William Peak