10 Tips About Multicultural Or Multinational Relationships


Being in a relationship with a partner from a different culture and or nation can be challenging. In the following article I’ve collected 10 tips from personal experience and those of my clients to help you make the best out of your experience:

Tip #1: Ask questions

I personally think this is the most important tip of all. If you allow each other to ask questions you are willing to learn more about the other every day.

Tip #2: Assume nothing

Even though you might have read about their culture or nation or have been in relationship for a while, stop yourself when you catch yourself thinking: I know this already. Meet your partner with freshness and openness.

Tip #3: Learn the language

Enroll in a language class teaching the language your partner speaks at home. If you’re both speaking a language different from your mother tongue you will both have to show interest in the other person’s world and one point of access is their language.

Tip #4: Be open to differences

The fact is that you are both different, as much or even more than any other couple. Remind yourself to be open to different view, values and beliefs. It does not mean you have to agree to everything, but acceptance is vital.

Tip #5: Stop comparing

If you continuously compare your culture or nation with theirs you will end up arguing who is better. Discuss differences but don’t make it a competition.

Tip #6: Communicate

Like in any relationship, communication lies at the heart of it. You need to communicate early about your differing view, values, and beliefs before you hit a crisis point of whether your child should be raised catholic or Islamic.

Tip #7: Share your emotions

One of you will probably live in a country or culture different from where they grew up. It is of utmost importance that you share your feelings and emotions honestly along the way about what’s coming up for you.

Tip #8: Show interest in your partner’s culture and nation

Even though you might be living where you grew up, make an effort to learn about your partner’s culture and nation. Plan to visit it at least once or multiple times if possible. Let your partner show you around.

Tip #9: Discuss future plans

Start to discuss future plans early in the relationship: How do you want to bring up your children? Where would you want to live? What religion do you want to practice? What does it mean to your family to be in a relationship with someone from another culture or nation?

Tip #10: Talk about your past

Find out about each other’s history, talk about your childhoods, show each other photos and share other important aspects of your life. This will allow you to enter into each other’s model of the world.

Many of these suggestions obviously don’t just apply to multicultural or multinational relationships and you might add others from your personal experience.

Happy relating!

Source by Nathalie Himmelrich

Herpes and Dating Sites in the 21st Century


When a person goes through an initial outbreak of the herpes simplex virus s/he will also undergo a great shock. But what’s even more shocking is the 50%-80% of Americans suffering from some form of herpes. Past statistics showed that 20% (50 million) infected people suffered from genital herpes alone and the vast majority of them may not be aware of it. Studies also reveal that over 500,000 American people get infected annually, with most of them young teens.

Another shock came when a nationally representative study revealed genital herpes is more prevalent in the US than other countries. From a nationwide perspective, somewhere around 45 million individuals (ages 12 and older) are infected. This means 1 out of every 5 adolescents and adults will have the HSV virus. Back in the 1970s up until early 1990s, there was a 30% increase in the number of genital herpes infections among Americans.

This kind of sexually transmitted disease (STD) can cause two types of viruses:

  1. Oral, herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1)
  2. Genital, herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2)

Many infected individuals have little to no symptoms or signs from either infection, HSV-1 or HSV-2. When symptoms occur, typically one or several blisters appear either on or around the rectum or genital area. Eventually the blisters will break and leave tender ulcer sores that will heal in 2-4 weeks during the initial outbreak.

Quite often, an outbreak will appear again within weeks or months afterward, but will be less severe and have a shorter breakout than the first one. Even though this infection can lay dormant inside the human body lifelong, the outbreaks tend to be less severe and will decrease in numbers over the years.

Unfortunately the genital HSV-2 virus is more common in women – around 1 out of every 4 women are infected. The reason for this is probably related to more male-to-female sexual encounters than female-to-male encounters if you consider the violence involved.

Trying to cope with genital herpes can be quite humiliating and often leads to great despair. When experiencing an outbreak, one can feel the symptoms beforehand and know what’s coming next. The thought process is not to engage in sexual activities so that ones partner doesn’t get infected with genital herpes.

Although symptoms/outbreaks do come and go, the herpes virus lives within the nerve cell in the body well after all signs of the infection have disappeared. The vast majority of infected individuals will experience active breakouts every so often, while others only experience a herpes breakout once or maybe twice. However, there are some who experience breakouts each and every year.

Scientists claim they don’t know exactly what triggers the herpes virus that makes it active, but they discovered among other things the quantity of breakouts reoccurs less and less over the years. There are some natural remedies out there if one is willing to seek alternatives than opt for man made drugs like Acyclovir which comes with many side-effects.

What scientist and physicians don’t know doesn’t mean the end of the world. Many folks research online all the time to find natural cures and remedies that have worked time and time again.

Once the herpes virus is under control and there’s a clear understanding of what to do and what not to do, as well as using natural remedies (more on this later), one might start to gain confidence and start dating again. After all, finding a partner in life who understands makes a relationship stronger and can bring more happiness to ones life.

Herpes Dating Sites

Not too long ago, online dating websites targeted a large audience (consumer demand) that gained plenty of popularity over the years. But when the market started to saturate with many competing dating sites, new ones formed and took somewhat of a different approach. They targeted a much smaller niche or specific audience. One particular audience were individuals with STDs which gave birth to herpes dating sites that catered to many individuals with similar issues and interest.

Quite naturally, some individuals with the herpes virus might feel a bit uncomfortable with the idea of searching for potential mates on public dating websites. But these are the times where more and more people are finding it harder to find someone due to many circumstances in their lives. One being, finding a partner who also has the herpes virus. Otherwise, admitting to someone that s/he has a sexually transmitted disease doesn’t come as easy to some folks.

Nevertheless, signing up and becoming a member to one or more of these herpes dating sites, as oppose to sites that caters to the general public, can be less embarrassing. One might feel more comfortable with this approach to dating.

Dating websites that are designed specifically for individuals with herpes are more understanding and focused on helping infected members more. However, this doesn’t mean these sites are the only way or last resort. Many people find new relationships as they always have – through casual meetings. Still, it may make more sense to find someone who suffers from the same thing..

For the obvious reasons, it’s easier to reveal everything to another infected person and it’s safer – as there shouldn’t be any worries about transmitting the virus to someone else.

When exploring herpes dating sites generally they provide a wealth of information that relates to health and wellness including a variety of topics and concerns. In fact, members converse all the time and share their knowledge along with many other things they talk about. Some herpes dating sites have over 68,000 subscribers which relate to having a rather large community out there with the same issue.

In addition to the resources that can be found on these sites, other information is included such as:

  • Helpful advice
  • Diet information
  • Mistaken conditions/properly diagnosing herpes
  • How gentile herpes affects men & women differently
  • Prognosis of disease
  • Scientific & statistical info. about herpes
  • Prevention
  • Safe sex / transmission
  • Outbreaks
  • Symptoms
  • And much more

The true purpose of these sites is creating a community for those dealing with the herpes virus. The general dating sites tend to make a certain group of people with specific needs feel left out of the online dating scene. Same thing goes for religious people searching for someone of the same religion and so on.

Again, being infected with the herpes virus doesn’t mean its the end of the world, as one might feel alone and never to experience true intimacy again. Herpes dating sites are increasingly popular these days, so it’s not uncommon and shouldn’t be looked upon as something demeaning in character.

Creating a community such as this helps bring like-minded people together to communicate, whether it’s just a friendly platonic chat to get to know one another or dating. It goes to show just how niche dating websites have grown over the years when addressing the needs of 10s of thousands of people worldwide with special needs and issues.

People who are similar in more ways than one, can find each other and come together quicker when interacting within a community online. This method offers an easier path to find other people than trying offline. Without question, herpes dating sites help provide people suffering from genital herpes (HSV-2) a place of comfort when getting to know other people like themselves. They also make excellent support groups for those trying to learn how to deal with the herpes virus.

Source by Philip Sumpter

Discover the Best Places to Meet Single Men


With the growing population of single women, dating and finding Mr. Right could be a real challenge. The common question of these single women is “Where to find eligible men?” Knowing the best places to meet single men could be very helpful in finding your dream man.

Being single has its benefits but of course most women want to eventually meet someone they can share their life with. If you’ve been single for a long time now and wondering why you haven’t met the one you’ve been waiting for, maybe you have to do something other than just waiting.

There are places where singles can be found. So what are the best places to meet single men?

Church. One of the best places to meet single men is in the church. What could be better than meeting a single decent guy who shares the same and faith as yours? Finding your dream man in a holy place will take away most of your doubts if you share the same values and beliefs about relationships and raising a family. Attending church regularly is one of the best ways to meet your future lifetime partner. Even if you don’t see a single guy who immediately catches your attention, you can make friends with other regular churchgoers who may have single siblings, children, friends, etc. Making new friends in the church can help you widen your network and your chances of meeting single men. But of course your main reason for going to church is to worship God.

Singles bar. This is one of the best places to meet single men and one of the oldest ways of meeting eligible men but it may not be the best place to find men who want to commit. Sure there are lots of single men on pubs or bars and a couple of beers can help you muster the courage to talk to some of them but you also have to be realistic that the influence of alcohol or being tipsy on your first meeting could send the wrong message to those guys. The worst case is meeting a guy who is just looking for a drunken hook-up which is not exactly the guy you are looking for. Many guys go to bars just to hook-up and they are not looking for someone to date but do not be disheartened, the opportunity to meet your Mr. Right in singles bars is always there but at the same time you have to be realistic. This first meeting could end up to a one night stand, casual dating or if you are really lucky, a long-term relationship. Instead of just being a couch potato on a Friday night, going to bars could be fun and could give you the chance of meeting single guys that could be your future boyfriend.

Online singles chat rooms and dating sites. This may not be one of the best places to meet single men, but this route should not be ignored. Single women who want to get into a relationship usually want to look for eligible men in the community they live in but sometimes they are too busy with work or there are circumstances that don’t allow them to find Mr. Right in their area. With the increasing number of busy single women around the world, going online is the most practical way for them to meet other people. If you will choose this route, make sure that you know the safety precautions of meeting people online to protect yourself. The result could be extremes, you could meet a psycho or you could meet a decent guy who could be a potential boyfriend or husband. There are many reputable chat rooms and online dating sites so make sure to choose one that will give you the best results and at the same time will take care of your security. But above all, you have to know that you are the best person who can take care of yourself online.

Shopping malls or supermarkets. This is one of the best places to meet single men and chances are, you will meet eligible men living in your area. Going to shopping malls and supermarkets can be fun and can be an avenue to meet lots of people including single men of course. Visiting the men’s section, the tools or hardware section, gadgets, tech and appliances section can give you a better chance to meet single guys. Being a woman, it is natural for you to ask help about men’s products you are looking for. Of course you have to think of a good reason why you are there just in case a cute guy approached and asked you. One good reason is shopping for a gift for your brother or your father. The grocery section is also a good place to meet single men because like you, single men especially those living on their own do their own grocery shopping.

Bookstores and book clubs. If you love reading, one of the best places to meet single men is in the bookstores. It would be nice to meet someone with the same interest as yours. Since you both love books and reading, you have plenty of topics to talk about. You could also meet single guys through book clubs. The good thing about like-minded people is that they can easily gel with each other so you might end up having coffee together while talking about your common interest.

In your workplace or in the office. Office romance is not something new and there are many people who date or marry people of the same work or profession as theirs. Doctors marry doctors, lawyers to lawyers, accountants to accountants and office workers to another office worker simply because they are together everyday and they understand each other’s work. Do not look too far because your Mr. Right might be in the next cubicle right in front of you.

Community or charity services. Of course the only reason to do community or charity service is that you want to give back to the community but it is inevitable to meet new people since this kind of activity involves other people. Good things happen to good people and who knows, your good deeds might actually turn into a good fortune of finding your dream man. But even if you don’t end up meeting the guy of your dreams, at the end of the day, you know that you’ve done something good to others. There are plenty of community and charity services that you can do like a blood drive, food drive, cleaning campaign, programs for senior citizens, environmental projects, youth programs, helping other kids, helping animal shelters, etc.

Parties with friends and weddings. Your friends can help you find a man. One of the best places to meet single men is through attending weddings and parties with mutual friends. Hanging out with friends in parties and weddings will give you the chance to meet the friends of your friends. Meeting single men through mutual friends is a great way to expand your network of friends. With a broad network of friends, it will be easier to meet the man you are looking for.

In the gym or sports activities. It is common for men to be physically active and to be involved in physical fitness activities. Most men want to be physically fit and the best place to keep their body fit is in the gym or doing outdoor sports or physical activities. Many of these men who are very concerned about their physique are single men. One of the best places to meet single men is in the gym or outdoor sports activities. Participating in sports or physical activities like bowling, golf, rock climbing or joining a running club can help you meet healthy single men.

Workshops or training schools. Cooking lessons, acting workshops, dance classes, photography classes are some of the best places to meet single men. Doing this is like hitting two birds in one stone. You can learn new skills and you can meet new people including single men who are interested on the same things you are into. Meeting single men with the same interest as yours can be really exciting. You have more things to talk about and you can do things together.

Beach. Although the beach may not be one of the ideal places to meet single men, there are romances that started meeting their soulmate on the beach. Men do not usually go alone on the beach, some go with their families, some with their wives or girlfriends but some go with their male friends. If you love the water and loves walking by the seashore, there is nothing wrong going to the beach and who knows you might bump into one of those group of single guys having fun on the beach. Love can be found in the most unexpected place.

Art exhibits and museums. People who love arts are romantic people and they could be the best dates. Art exhibits and museums are two of the best places to meet single men. There are studies that guys who enjoy viewing arts and cultural pieces in galleries and museums are happier and in better shape physically and psychologically than those who don’t visit these places. Going to museums and art exhibits will give you the chance to meet single men.

Parks. This is a very common place where people go to relax and get some fresh air and of course, one of the best places to meet single men. Some people go to the park to jog in the morning or during lunch breaks. Some spend their weekends reading a book, doing stuffs on their gadgets or simply sitting on the bench watching other people. Some people go to the park to walk their dog which is a great way to attract single men who are also pet lovers.

Waiting for the right man to come to you may not be applicable in today’s generation where eligible men have become a rare specie and the number of single ladies is getting bigger. If you keep waiting, chances are, you’ll end up single for a long time. Your dream man maybe somewhere out there doing his thing and meeting new people, including women or potential girlfriends while you are just sitting there waiting for him to find you. Why not go out and visit the places mentioned above where you can find nice single men to zest up your dating life and meet your dream man?

Source by Gerry Restrivera

5 Reasons Why Your Marriage Is Killing Your Dreams


While marriage can be exciting and happy, it can be filled with disappointment and broken dreams.

Would you agree?

Below are 5 reasons why we tend to think that marriage is killing our dreams. When you finish reading this article, you will discover that it’s not so much the marriage. But it’s the way you perceive how marriage affects your dreams.

1) You’re missing God’s perspective on your dreams. God has a plan for you, but it’s important for you to know His plan for your life. I encourage you to take some quiet time to find out why He created you and what His plan is.

2) You don’t think your spouse supports your dreams because he’s not as motivated about them as you are.

When we share our dreams with our husbands, we want them to get excited, put on a cheerleading outfit, and yell, “Go, Wifey!” as they do three back flips.

But what if your husband doesn’t show that much enthusiasm about your dream?

What if he just says okay and watches you pursue your dream? Would that be okay?

3) You’re not balancing your time properly.

What are you doing with your time on a daily basis? Watching TV, checking out pictures and videos on Facebook, gossiping on the phone with your friends? Most of these things are dream killers because they often eat away at your time. Decide on some things you can delete from your day and use that time to work on your dream.

4) Fear and insecurity – these are common dream killers because they paralyze you from the productive things you should be doing to achieve your dream.

There are many fears/insecurities.

Some include the fear of:

• Making mistakes

• Past failures

• What others will think of you

• Change

• Fear of not being good enough

Ask yourself, “What fears hold me back from my dreams?” Refuse to allow your fears and insecurities to hinder you from your dreams. Step out by faith and do what you can to make them come true.

5) You have no strategy for pursuing you dream. You may have a dream, but you don’t know what first step to take.

For me, it was writing a book. I have been writing for years, but there have been some areas of improvement. I also struggled with fears and insecurities, and I needed a strong support system to help me to write my book and share my message with others properly.

I recently attended a book writing conference and connected with a lot of people who have a dream of writing and sharing their message with others. They actually understand my plight and are willing to help me to achieve my dream.

This conference offered me the support I needed and the tools to create a system and take the next steps for sharing my message through writing about marriage to others.

If you think marriage is killing your dreams, think again. I encourage you to:

1. Get God’s perspective about your dreams

2. Appreciate the support your spouse gives you even if he doesn’t do it the way you think he should

3. Eliminate any dream killers and replace them by pursuing your dream.

4. Overcome your fears and insecurities.

5. Connect with people or an organization who can help you to create and implement. a strategy for taking the next steps towards your dream.

Source by Tiffany Godfrey

Relationships: Why Do Some People Fall Apart When A Relationship Comes To An End?


If one has just gone through a break up, they may find that it is hard for them to focus on other areas of their life. Due to how much pain they are in, everything else could fade into the background.

Perhaps they were with someone for a long time and they may have even had a strong connection with them. Therefore, now that the relationship has come to an end, it is going to be normal for them to be in pain.



What they are going through can be very similar to what they would go through if another person had passed on. Their ex won’t have passed on but what they had to together will no longer exist.

This shows that it doesn’t matter if another person has passed on or if they have just gone from one’s life; it is still going to be experienced as a loss. In both cases, their life will never be the same again.

A Gradual Process

However, providing that one allows themselves to grieve and to work through how they feel, they should be able to rise up once again. As the weeks and months go by, they may find that they start to feel better.

What had faded into the background at the beginning can then end up coming back into their life. Thus, the things that they lost interest in can soon be things that they enjoy doing again.

External Support

Another thing that will be important will be for them to make sure that they have the right people around them during this time. This will be people that show them support and encouragement.

Along with this, doing things with these people that will give them a break from what is taking place. If one was their own island, they would be able to rise up again with the support of anyone else.

A Distant Memory

There can soon come a time when they will look back on what took place and it will be as though they are just remembering something that they saw on TV. There will then be emotions that arise within them, but these emotions won’t wipe them out.

When they get to this point, they may see that while this point in their life was tough, it allowed them to grow. There may be a number of different things that they learnt, and they may have even ended up meeting someone who is a better match.

The Ideal

One way of looking at the scenario above would be to say that this is what someone would hope would happen if they were to go through a break up. They might not want to experience pain when a relationships ends, yet they would definitely want to be able to carry on with their life as time passes.

Nonetheless, this is not going to be what happens to everyone. For some people, a break up can result in them experiencing a hell of a lot of pain and this pain might not subside over time.

Two Extremes

Unlike the person above, someone like this can experience a deep sense of loss but this might not be as far as it will go. In addition to feeling sad and even hopeless, they could end up feeling suicidal.

Their inner world is going to be in complete disarray, and it could feel as though their whole world has come to an end. Their reason for being alive will have gone, taking away their reason for getting out of bed.

Down, Right Down

From the outside one will look like a whole human being, yet on the inside, they will feel anything but whole. Like a small boat on the ocean, there will be nothing to stabilise their thoughts and feelings.

Before they were in the relationship they may have generally been fine, making it hard for them to understand why they are in such a mess. That is, of course, if they are able to even think clearly at this stage of their life.

One Reason

What this may show is that they didn’t receive the kind of care that they needed as a child in order to develop a strong core/sense of self. Instead, this would have been a time when they were neglected.

So, now that the attachment that they formed has come to an end, it will have brought up all of the pain that they experienced during this stage of their life. And as it is painful for them to experience this pain now, it will give them an understanding of how painful it must have been for them as a child.

No Foundations

Another way of looking at what happened would be to say that one will be like a house that has been built on sound. If they had received the right care, they would be a house that has strong foundations.

Through having strong foundations, the emotional strength inside them would make it easier for them to handle what took place. This is why childhood neglect does so much damage as the strong foundations that one needs to be able to handle life as an adult don’t form; one just ends up with layers and layers of trauma and even brain damage.


If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Working with someone like this can allow them to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves. The presence that is provided by someone like this will make it easier for them to face how they feel and to work though their pain.

Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Meet Your Match! 5 Tips for Using Dating Sites to Find the Love of Your Life


With the advent of the internet and the rise in popularity of online dating, more and more people are using dating sites to meet friends and potential partners. Whether you are in the market for a local love interest or are more concerned with looks or age compatibility, these dating sites afford you the opportunity to meet singles you would not have met otherwise. However, while you can find a plethora of free online dating sites that can help you find like-minded individuals from around the globe that have the same interests, the real challenge is presenting yourself in an honest yet appealing way, and attracting someone who is looking for the same sort of relationship you are. More often than not, online dating becomes a portal for awkward first dates that go nowhere.

Even though online dating offers many perks that are harder to come by when meeting people through traditional means, there are still a number of factors that you need to take into consideration to be more successful when using these sites. Read on to find out five tips to find a long-term partner using an online dating site.

1. Build a winning profile- Let’s face it, an incomplete profile often comes across as not serious or fake and is unlikely to attract the desired attention. It’s better to say something about yourself, even if it’s not perfect, than leaving your profile blank. Make sure you take the time to complete every question asked and write something about yourself.

2. Find the right dating site- Choose an online dating website that maximizes the chances of finding the type of person you are looking for. Large dating sites promise more potential, but because they are so generic you will have less of a chance of finding someone who shares qualities that you value, so make your pick wisely.

3. Profile picture- When it comes to online dating, a profile picture is worth a thousand words. Besides, the photo used on the profile has a significant impact on your success rate. Make sure you use a picture that has you looking directly at the camera and smiling- this is a great way to show you are confident, healthy and friendly. Furthermore, post a picture of yourself as you look today, even if you have gained a few pounds or look older.

4. Send messages- Being proactive on the dating websites and sending the first message to the other users is a simple and effective way to get your profile more noticed. Furthermore, set aside a few hours a day to write a unique and custom message to different members of the dating website. When compared to just waiting for someone to contact you, sending out introductory messages will significantly increase your chances of getting a positive response.

5. Be choosy- With online dating, the dating pool is right at your fingertips. Furthermore, you will find plenty of people you can connect with, which means you get to be as picky as you want. Browsing through the website and checking out as many profiles as possible will help you find the right person who has the same interests as you.

Free online dating sites not only help you find love on the Internet but also give you the ability to date someone at any time of the day. By keeping mind the above-mentioned tips and tricks, you will be able to put your best foot forward in the online dating world!

Source by VS Singh

10 Texting Rules For Dating Singles – Texting Guidelines and Dating Etiquette


I’ve found that texting is generally seen as a nuisance for people over the age of 40. For one thing, most of us have fingers that are NOT bony. Those little tiny buttons on the cell phones are ridiculously small.  Plus, many of us have to find our reading glasses so we can even SEE the damn keyboard anyway! Women have the extra challenge of long and/or fake fingernails. Glamourous, sexy, make your hands look great. However, they have absolutely no traction on those little tiny plastic buttons on a cell phone keypad. 

So then why is there so much hesitation when it comes to picking up the phone? Has texting become the newest addition to the list of “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em?”


I believe the growing preference for texting has a lot to do with its impersonal nature. It’s much easier to launch a new relationship by exchanging texts than it is to talk. It’s also very easy to say and do things over a screen that one would never have the nerve to do face to face (or say ear to ear). That would make things easier I suppose, but it also creates new problems. A large part of communication is non-verbal. When texting, the other party cannot receive those fine nuances of communication such as tone of voice, held back giggles, excited breathing, or body language that demonstrates anxiety, happiness or growing irritation.


Texting it seems, is here to stay, but there needs to be some rules in place.  After listening to dozens of complaints from friends, coworkers, and family about their relationships and texting, I came up with “10 Texting Rules For Dating Singles.”


#1 Do Share Updates or Ask for Simple  Instructions.  On your way but missed your train? Texting to update your date on your revised arrival time is a considerate thing to do.  On your way to the store and can’t remember what you are supposed to pick up for dinner at her place? Receiving a texted shopping list can be a life and relationship saver! Had a great first date? Texting the day after to say, “Wow, I had a really great time with you!” is a low key, no pressure way to express appreciation for someone’s time.


#2 Never Text While on a Date.  You’d think everyone would know this already, but I guess common sense ain’t real common! Texting while in a face-to-face conversation is just as rude as blabbing away on a call.  If you’re on a date and you want to see that person again, don’t sit there texting (or Twittering) the whole time, or part of the time, or even at all. That includes your best friend trying to sneakily find out how things are going, the Masters of Electronically Transmitted Whining (the kids), or an angry ex who saw you and your date in the restaurant parking lot.  Manners and courtesy must reign supreme.   

#3 Texts Should Never Replace Real Conversation. Texting is only for transmitting unimportant information or short and simple messages, not an in-depth conversation. More than four texts in a row… it’s time to pick up the phone.  Middle aged fingers and hands cramp easily, okay!? Oh, and if you notice that you are having most of your relationship via texting, you need to move things along to the face to face level or just end it.  

Like I said, the inherently impersonal nature of texting allows someone to “keep in touch” and keep fantasies of a relationship alive, but maintain emotional distance by never spending time with you.  I’ve known guys to do a cut and paste type of thing and send the same text to a dozen women at almost the same time.  It’s a time-saving way to cast a wide net and see who will let him come over for sex.  Women should not make it so easy to be used for uncommitted booty calls.

#4 Does Anyone Care But You?  Do not send text after text describing your every move, every conversation, or every thought.  The fact that your coworker was late for the 10th time this month is of no importance to anyone but you. Get it? Unless what you are texting involves the recipient in some manner, and is very urgent (or at least a funny joke to break up our day), then don’t send a text.  

#5 Do Not Send Compromising Photos.  Are people these days crazy? What in the world is going on with this “sexting” stuff? Why would females send pictures of naked body parts (including their genitalia) over cell phones? Young ladies, not only is such behavior classless, it’s ridiculously dangerous. And if the sender or receiver of a sexually oriented text is a minor, it’s also illegal.

The long-term repercussions of this type of loose attitude about one’s body has concerned me for a long time. Women are likely to be humiliated to discover that they are the brunt of jokes, as guys will often share the sexy texts they get from random women with their buddies and have a good laugh. You’ll then be labeled, and it won’t be flattering. Think before you act.

Also important to remember is that some folks don’t do well with breakups and their vindictiveness spews forth like an erupting volcano. Your photos or videos could end up anywhere on the Internet, in a magazine, movie, or in a photo composite with someone else’s body doing something awful, topped off by YOUR FACE.  

#6 If You’ve Been Drinking, Back Away From the Keypad! People will say and do things with firewater in their systems that they would NEVER do if sober. What types of things have I heard you ask? Sexual invitations to people known to have no interest, fights from months ago renewed with vigor due to unresolved anger, personal questions asked and personal information volunteered in a straight bonehead move. Liquid courage does that to people! Though alcohol doesn’t put ideas into our heads, a little booze definitely relaxes the constraints we have in place on our mouths and evidently our fingers. So, if you’ve been to happy hour(s), or had a few martini’s at home, do not send anyone a text. Your texting privileges are revoked until you are 100% sober.

#7 Don’t Expect Instant Gratification. Do not get upset if you don’t get a reply back within seconds of sending a text. People over the age of 25 usually have full-time jobs, families, and things to do that involve their hands, including cooking, typing, and driving. They’ll return your communication with a text or a phone call when they can.  One should also remember that technology is great, but not perfect. I’ve sent texts that didn’t arrive at their destination for 45 minutes to several hours! I’ve also had the same problem with receiving transmissions sent to me by others.

#8 Always Be Aware of Your “Tone of Voice” and Communication Style. It’s difficult to discern the sender’s tone in text messages, just as it is in e-mail. What may be meant as humorous sarcasm, or a completely innocuous message to you may be easily misinterpreted by the recipient of your text. Such miscommunication can cause hurt feelings and unnecessary tension, and require an unbelievable amount of apologizing and explaining to fix. In some instances it will cost you the relationship. Watch the shorthand and acronyms as well. Not everyone is up on the textn lingo neway, and yr msg may leave sum1 scratching their head in confusion sayn L8tr4u vs ROFLMAO.

#9 Asking for Dates by Text is a No-No.  Texting to set-up a date is bogus! Have the courage to speak up and risk rejection like a big boy or girl. Yeah, I know you’re a recent returnee to the dating scene, talking to someone you don’t know well feels awkward, and asking for a date when you might hear “no!” is scary. But one of the top qualities singles seek is a confident partner that goes after what he or she wants. Confident, secure people have an air about them that is very sexy…  passive, hesitant, insecure people do not.    

#10 Do Not Break It Off By Text.  Neither do you use Twitter, Facebook, AIM, My Space, MSN messenger, email or fax. Use of any form of informal, emotionally disconnected electronic communication to dump someone is chickenshit. Not only is it immature, it’s just plain rude. If you opt to treat other people in such a way, don’t be surprised when your text is put on blast and ends up on Twitter, Facebook, My Space and every message forum in the world. Be an adult whydontcha, and tell people via phone (at least) that you two are not a match and you’re moving on. 

Text messaging isn’t necessarily a tool of The Devil, but there can be quite a bit of misinterpretation and miscommunication if not used correctly. Texting is a great way to stay connected to someone you are madly in love with, and a useful tool to touch base with casual or new dating partners. However, texting is not and never will be a replacement for a heart-felt telephone conversation full of sighs and laughter.

Source by Deborrah Cooper

Should Marriage Coaching Or Family Therapy Be An Option For Your Marital Problems?


In an article released by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, customers of marriage and family counselors from over a dozen states reported on their experience with family therapy.

The findings suggested that marriage and relationship counselors treated a large range of concerns in relatively short-term fashion. It said that couples therapy and marriage coaching are briefer than specific treatment, which customer satisfaction and practical improvement are rather high.

Particularly, of customers from over 500 marriage and relationship counselors in over a dozen states:

– Over 95% rated services outstanding or great

– Over 90% would recommend their therapist to a buddy

– Over 90% would go back to the very same therapist in the future

– Over 90% stated they were assisted in dealing more effectively with problems

– Over 90% were generally pleased with the service they got

– Over 95% got the kind of assistance they wanted

– Almost 75% indicated enhancement in children’s behavior

– Just under 65% reported enhanced physical health

– Over 95% were pleased with the amount of assistance they got

– Just under 55% reported improvement in operating at work

– Almost 60% revealed enhancement in kid’s school efficiency

[NOTE] Excerpted from “Clinical Practice Patterns of Marriage and Family Therapists: A National Survey of Therapists and Their Clients”, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

While the above research study supplies raw information that supports the efficiency of marital relationship and household counseling, a very interesting conversation on the question, “Does Marriage Counseling Work” from a public forum devoted to this subject offers a less medical, but still positive view.

I found that what seems to be an extremely sincere and frank conversation among couples, “who’ve been there,” the response to the question of whether marriage counseling works is a favorable one.

Will Marital Therapy Work for You?

Regardless of the studies and viewpoints which seem to support the question of, ‘Does couples therapy work,’ there are those who question its effectiveness.

Previously I had a discussion on ‘what’s going on today with males and how the men actually feel about close relationships and what turns the men on about women.’

This got the subject going on the science of marital therapy is being studied in excellent detail these days. Research is showing that it is not as reliable as individuals believe that ladies seem to get more from it than men.

Surely there are times when it may not have a long-lasting result on the couple’s marital relationship.

What type of couple gets the most from couples therapy? The response is young, non-sexist, still in love, open couples.

Which couples get the least after finding what seems to the best marriage advice?

Some factors that can make couples therapy not successful consist of couples who wait too long before seeking assistance. I mean that typically one or the other is set on getting a divorce and is closed to any suggestions that may save the marriage.

It appears that couples who seek relationship healing or marriage coaching due to the fact that they want their relationship to work are more likely to prosper with marriage therapy.

Many Do Benefit

Yes, they will benefit more than those who enter into couples counseling with the (maybe hidden) reality that they really more deeply want out of the relationship.

Again as the Course in Miracles further states, “It is still up to you to choose with truth or with illusion. Remember that to choose one is to let the other go.”

When thinking about best marriage advice, it’s hard not to wonder whether seeing a marital relationship counselor will actually work.

An honest marriage psychologist would agree that the inspiration of a couple might be the single most crucial aspect in identifying the success of marital therapy.

It’s not likely that even a fantastic counselor would be able to conserve a marital relationship where one spouse really doesn’t want to put in the effort for relationship healing.

The best marriage advice you find from a marriage therapist can most likely help a couple who are utterly devoted to making their marital relationship work.

(I like to often suggest seeking out the web for more helpful material on things like should you separate or divorce now instead of trying to fix a broken a marriage or love relationship?)

To success in healing and finding happiness!

Source by James Nussbaumer

Relationships: Can A Relationship Bring Up Emotions That Were Frozen?


If someone is not in a relationship, they may find that they are generally settled. What this can mean is that they are rarely emotionally flat and are rarely overwhelmed by their emotions.

Being this way is naturally going to make it easier for them to function at their best and to enjoy life. If they were often emotionally flat or taken out by how they feel, it would be much harder for them to experience a fulfilling life.


In general, it could be said that one won’t be controlled by their emotions and neither will they try to push them out of their awareness. As a result of this, the people in their life could see them as someone who is calm and emotionally in tune.

Also, it might not be uncommon for others to open up to them about the challenges in their own life. This will come down to the fact that these people will know that one will be able to handle what they have to share.

A New Beginning

However, if they started to see someone, they may find that their inner world starts to change. It might not be a small change either, as they could have moments when they are very unstable.

Due to how they were before, they may struggle to understand what is going on for them. Nonetheless, thanks to how strong these emotions are, it won’t be possible for them to carry on as normal.

Early Days

What may also confuse them is if they have only known this person for a short while; it is then not as if there is a reason for them to feel this way. It might seem as though the emotional part of them is out of control.

This might not be as far as it will go as they could experience even more inner discomfort as the weeks and months go by. One could even get to the point where they wonder if they are with the right person.


Part of them can then feel connect to their partner and appreciate their company, but another part of them can be having a very different experience. What they do next can all depend on how aware they are.

If they lack a certain level of self-awareness, they might end up pulling away from their partner, seeing them as the problem. The discomfort inside them will been so strong that they were unable to listen to the other part of them.

A Short-Term Solution

Taking this route might allow them to gradually settle down again, but what it won’t do is allow them to experience a deeper connection with someone. So even if they do feel better, it won’t make up for the pain and even the regret that they will probably experience in the long-run.

What they may find, if they were to start another relationship, is that the same thing happens all over again. If so, this may allow them to see that what is going on out there is not the issue.

Staying With It

Conversely, if one is able to take step back and not get caught up in how they feel, they may wonder why there is so much going on inside them. One thing that they could do is to speak to a close friend about what is going on for them.

What this friend may tell them is that it sounds like emotional pain from their past has been brought up to the surface. The person they are with will have simply triggered what was already within them.

An Analogy

One way for one to understand what has taken place would be for them to imagine that a number of items have been frozen in ice. When the ice is frozen these items can’t be seen, but if the ice is melted, the items will become visible.

Similarly, the emotions inside them were frozen in their body, and through experiencing another person’s warmth, this ice has started to melt. What this has done is started to release emotions that were stuck.


Now, if someone believes that their thoughts create their feelings, it can be hard for them to accept this. What they may come to see is that this is not the complete truth, with their being far more to it than this.

The emotional pain that is being unthawed, so to speak, can go back to what took place at the start of their life. What this will show is how long it has been in their body and that time alone won’t cause this pain to disappear.

The Time Has Come

One way of looking at what is taking place would be to say that one is ready to face this pain; if they weren’t, it wouldn’t have come up. It might then be hard for them to accept this as they are in so much pain, but this will be a time when they are being given the opportunity to become more whole and complete.

This pain will have also had an effect on their resonance/vibration, and lot of energy would have been needed to keep it out of their awareness. Working through this pain will enable them to feel better, change their energetic imprint, and give them more energy.


If one can relate to this, and they are ready to work though their pain, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Technology & Romance – How the Internet Has Changed Our Dating Habits



The Internet has changed all our lives dramatically over the last twenty years. Every aspect of our lives has been made quicker, better, more secure and easier than ever before. Romance and dating has been affected more than most with the increasing popularity of online dating, Facebook and mobile phones.

Meeting People

Unless you worked in a big city, had lots of friends or participated in other activities in the evenings or weekends, finding someone special to share your life with was always going to be difficult. The usual methods of going to pubs or clubs were, and still are, fraught with difficulties. The Internet has enabled potential mate seekers to advertise themselves to the world and wait to see what responses they get. For years this was always thought to be a method for sad people with no social skills and was often ridiculed. However the basic premise was sound. The Internet provided the missing ingredient that many love seekers were missing from their search, scope. Suddenly they weren’t limited to their circle of friends and work colleagues. Now they were promoting themselves 24 hours a day to thousands of like-minded potential romantic partners. Not everything was improved with the advent of online dating. Just like any other system, online dating was prone to misuse from less than genuine individuals with exaggerated or simply false profiles and profile images. This has been improved in recent years with the increase in popularity of social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram.

Checking Up

A common use for Facebook when dating is to gather some useful information on your prospective date. This could be used to ensure the person you think you are meeting is genuine and is who they say they are. Social media leaves a trail so anybody can find out important information regarding a potential date. The main benefit here is regarding safety. If you can confirm the person is genuine it makes meeting them less risky. Another advantage of using Facebook, Twitter or other social media site to get a feel for a potential date is that it can give you some useful subjects to talk about. First dates are tricky but with a handful of topics you know your date has an interest in will make the whole process a lot easier.


Once in a relationship, technology has also had a major impact on how we chat, flirt and generally keep in touch with your partner. Twenty years ago, the landline was the only way to communicate with a loved one when not together. The way we live has changed. Now we are always available with the use of mobile phones and tablets. The use of SMS texting has had a massive impact on our day-to-day lives. Invented primarily to send short, informative messages they now form the bulk of communication between romantic partners when not in each other’s company. The advantages of text messaging are that they are quick and convenient and can be answered at your leisure. A major drawback is that written text does not allow for any inflection or emotion to be added so messages can be mis-interpreted. Also, there is the dreaded predictive text mixup where the phone replaces what you are writing with what it thinks you meant to write. This can have disastrous effects but also provides a few laughs. Some people even use SMS to break up with their partner.


Technology has enhanced the way we find love and communicate with our loved ones but has also distanced us from our loved ones with our over reliance of quick and easy ways to say how we feel. Nothing can replace face-to-face contact and conversation but hopefully technology can help us to fill in the gaps when we’re apart.

Source by Trevor Mayhew